Downsizing is a very big step but in fact it is many steps rolled into one that you have to take to get from here to there – and lots of questions that have to be asked and answered. The first question is – where is “there?” Where do you want to when you downsize? Remember the conversation between the Cheshire Cat and Alice? She asked the Cheshire Cat, who was sitting in a tree, “What road do I take?” The cat asked, “Where do you want to go?” “I don’t know,” Alice answered. “Then,” said the cat, “it really doesn’t matter, does it?” You have to know where you are going to know how to start.
Before You Can Start Downsizing, You Need to Imagine the Next Stage of Your Life
Perhaps you have had this conversation. “Mom, you can’t keep living in this house. It’s too big now that you are by yourself.” or “Dad, you can’t keep up this house. Why don’t you sell it and move?”
You know that you aren’t going to stay in your family home forever, but it doesn’t seem like you have to move now…. and where would you move? How do you get from here to there – and how do you figure out what there is? How do you decide? Who should you talk to? What should you evaluate?
Why Are You Downsizing?
Take some time to think honestly about why you are downsizing and to imagine what you want your life to be like after downsizing. See yourself as being proactive rather than passive in this. You are choosing to downsize rather than being forced to. Even if you are motivated by financial or health concerns, think about how your life will be better after this. Are you downsizing to get rid of home chores so you can travel? Are you moving closer to family? Are you downsizing to reduce expenses or to have one level living? These can all be positive decisions! You are choosing to simplify your life, get a handle on your expenses or live in a healthier or safer setting. These are all good things.
You can pick a community with lots of events going on, book clubs, mahjong tournaments, pickleball games or water aerobics. Many communities have restaurants on site. The Promenade in North Bethesda (which is not age restricted) even has a travel agent in the building. How easy is a grand European trip when you have your own on-site travel agent? Fox Hill has a wine cellar for its owners – and a virtual golf area. This might be the time to finally perfect your golf swing.
Make a List of Your Trusted Advisors When Downsizing
Start with your trusted advisors. This might be your family members, but perhaps it includes your family lawyer or your estate planner. What about your family doctor? your banker or financial advisor? Your financial advisor should be able to help you understand how much money you have and how much money you need to live on. You can put together your own budget using an on-line tool. Talk to your doctor to get a sense of what you should expect over the five to ten years for health care. Is this next move the last move or the next to last move? For some people a move to the beach or a senior community is fine while other people need to consider a community with the possibility of assisted living or memory care. Talk to your lawyer or estate planner to understand whether there are any plans that are already in place that will impact your decisions or are there any changes that you should be making to your estate planning.
Finally, of course you should talk to your family and friends – but I encourage you to collect some information before you start talking to your friends and family who will have their own opinions but may not have a lot of information. Just because someone’s mother decided to move in with her son that might now be the best decision for you.
What you want to do now is collect a lot of information and then start applying that individualized information to your situation, your wants, needs and goals.
What Kinds of Choices Do You have?
You have lots of choices. You can move into a condo or apartment in a downtown area close to where you live now and close to shops, restaurants and transportation. That way, you eliminate the headaches of home maintenance like shoveling the snow or worrying about a leaking roof. You are familiar with the amenities in your hometown, and you are close to your circle of friends and your doctors. Many big condo and coop communities even have guest rooms that you can rent when your family comes to visit, thereby avoiding the need to have a guest room that sits empty much of the year.
Some people decide to move to a college town, close to good hospitals and educational opportunities. Many colleges welcome senior citizens who audit classes or attend guest lectures and performances for free. Frequently these college towns also are home to great hospitals and health care systems. Of course, other people head for the beach or the mountains for their retirement home. You might examine the tax consequences of moving to a new state (or remaining where you are!) For instance, Delaware has no income tax and Alaska, Florida, Nevada, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Washington, Wyoming, New Hampshire, Alabama, Illinois, Hawaii, Mississippi, and Pennsylvania do not tax federal retirement income. (Please please please consult your accountant or tax advisor and don’t take this as tax advice!)
There are some interesting communities which offer smallish apartments (condos) built around community rooms such as large living rooms, family rooms, a big kitchen and dining room and a music room, library and play room. The concept is that you have a small private apartment and then use the large communal rooms so that you have access to a sense of community while still having a private space to retire to. Owners are encouraged to participate in the larger community and share management responsibilities. These communities are not just for seniors but are welcoming to singles and couples of all ages and families with children. The pleasant thing here is that if you are a senior, you are not just living with other seniors but instead are seeing young children too and in fact people of all ages..
Of course, you can move into a community which Is limited to people 55 and older or 62 and older. In the DC area, places such as Leisure World, Fox Hills and Maplewood spring to mind. Further afield are the Del Webb communities and the Villages in Florida. These adult communities tend to have activities which you might enjoy, and hopefully you will be surrounded by people with shared interests. Some of these communities like Fox Hills and Maplewood have additional services such as memory care or assisted living, allowing you to stay at the same community for as long as you want.
Another choice is to move in with a friend or family. This is a choice that many people make. Sometimes the house needs to be modified to accommodate a senior lifestyle, which can add unexpected expense at the start, but will make the experience better for all concerned.
Are You Downsizing Near the DC Metro Area?
If you live near the DC metro area, I would love to help you brainstorm your options and next steps. I have a whole team of resources to facilitate your move – from a declutterer to an estate sale organizer to a mover to an architect and a mortgage lender. You don’t have to make your decisions in a vacuum! Let’s talk! You can reach me at 240-401-5577 or email me at lise@lisehowe.com.
